Weddings and Mr. Macho

There are times when I’m really a surprise to myself. Those times are when I turn into the macho, beer drinking, Monday Night Football watching guy I’m really not. But writing about weddings? You see I didn’t post last week so I made a promise to myself no matter the prompt I would write. So as you can see I’m stuck and the guy in me is out full force.

I like to think I’m this sensitive guy who always the romantic, you know him he’s into walks along the beach in the moonlight. So why shouldn’t it be easy to write about a wedding or about the advice I’d give my daughter at her wedding, talk about a scary thought. I hope she waits until her 30’s. More time for dad to think up a wise and thoughtful piece of advice that will serve her all through her married life. More likely Mr. Football will kick in and I’ll use the opportunity to advise the groom to be, that if he ever hurts my daughter I’ll be kicking something besides a Football.

You see macho is what us guys do, even us sensitive ones. Weddings are a woman’s territory. Have you ever read those wedding stories in the newspaper? She wore a Shimmering Autumn White Gorgonzola gown with three hundred and twenty eight hand beaded lustrous pearls hand picked by pearl diving expert Jorge Ramón de Santiago. Even the diver has a fancy name!

Don’t get me wrong here I’ve been the groom at two of these events, so I’m experienced. The first wedding should have been a warning to me about the marriage I was about to embark on. The power went out on the whole west coast. The world went dark; most people would take that as a clue. Then we spent the morning decorating the hall her quote for the morning was “GET HIM OUT OF HERE, HE’S DRIVING ME CRAZY.” And so it went until the advice I got from my best man. He said, “Hey look a back door it’s not to late!” The ceremony was beautiful. Everything was perfect. But really I was a guest that day. Mr. Macho sure didn’t save me that day. I was more like the deer caught in Mr. Macho’s headlights.

So move forward thirteen or so years and I got a second chance. They say you learn from your mistakes and I think that’s true you see, our wedding was wonderful, simply done in her parent’s back yard, with just our families there. The rain that was forecast never appeared. It was easy, enjoyable and a chance to share our vows with those we loved. And what about Mr. Macho? Well, really who needs Mr. Macho when you’re married to Mrs. Right.

Coffee

A young goat herder by the name of Kaldi awoke one day to find his herd missing. He was worried as any goat herder would be. It’s sort of like being the IT guy who finds all his computers missing. So of course Kaldi went out to find his herd of goats. He searched and searched and finally found them. But the goats weren’t quietly grazing. They were dancing. That’s right dancing. Well, Kaldi was shocked and closed his eyes, thinking it to be a dream. Goats did not dance. But when he again opened his eyes they were still at it. This time he also noticed that some of his goats were eating the fruit of a nearby bush.. Kaldi thought he would try the fruit as well and man’s relationship with coffee was born.

Ah the wine of the bean. Coffee has had mans’ attention since that Ethiopian boy tried his first bite. Coffee wandered about in the Arab world until the 1600’s at times being banned due to it’s stimulating effects. Then it found it’s way to Italy. Christians thought it to be a Muslim drink. Many sought to ban the brew calling it a “bitter invention of Satan.” However, Pope Clemet VIII said "This devil's drink is so good... we should cheat the devil by baptizing it." So the battle of the bean was won and quickly the drink spread throughout the christian world. By 1675 more than 3,000 coffehouses existed in England. Surely with so many on every corner they would decide to close a few.

The bean traveled far and wide around the world, mostly with the help of the East India Companies. The raw beans were guarded and protected to the extent that the Emporer of Brazil sent Francisco de Mello Palheta to French Guinea to aquire beans for Brazil. But Palheta would be turned away at evey corner. That is until be met the Govenor’s wife. Palheta promptly seduced the wife and in turn she provided him with enough beans to send Brazil on it’s way to becoming the leading Coffee producer in the world.

So no matter if it’s a Starbucks double half double sweet latte or just a plain ol’ cup of joe remember the history that proceded that first sip.